The Haunting Time Is Coming Near!

The Ghoullog - Mountaintop Haunt at Cranmore, North Conway, NH

Oot and aboot

There's a family thing this weekend we're going to, and I'm attending since I still shouldn't be left alone. This means 4 hour car ride later this afternoon, well- pickup truck ride, and then sleeping in a bed that's not memory foam. Yes- my MF mattress so far has helped me eons. I love my bed. It's comfortable for me, like slipping into a cloud and sleeping. I know, I know, clouds are just fog masses way up in the atmosphere... But I'm talking metaphorically. I'll never ever go back to a regular mattress.

The picture project I've started will be on hold for a few days. I did take pictures the past few, and will take more this weekend for it. Depending on when we're getting back, I'll have resumed my daily posting of the pix. I'll combine them again into one blog post, so they're not all "inundated" in the news feed. I'm having trouble finding inspiration the past few weeks- I've had absolutely no motivation, interest, or artistic feeling lately. This isn't normal- since those of you that are around me often know that I've usually got a project or three going at the same time. Jewelry, photos, scrapbooking, etc. I just look at my stuff and think "No, not right now. Maybe later today." Then we get to later, and its "I'll just work on it tomorrow." When tomorrow comes, I do the same thing over. It's frustrating. I want to work on it in a way, but then again... I don't want to touch anything. I can't be bothered. I'm taking some things with me this weekend, since there's not much to do down in the other house... And I'll just be sitting around. Bringing a blanket I need to finish crocheting, and my jewelry box and goodies. I have to remember to bring the hammer because I've run out of headpins- but I have sterling wire I can fashion into ear wires.... The only problem is that beads need a "stopper" so they won't fly off the wire. Sooo, hammer flattens the end, and I go about happily beading. Actually, now that I'm talking about it... I want to work on my jewelry.

I still can't drive, so I go where I'm taken more or less. Since my parents made the emergency trip to pick me up, I haven't been behind any wheel since April 16th. I still hop in and take drives to get to Dr. appointments, or to go fill my prescriptions, but that's about it. Sometimes if my parents are running a quick errand, I'll go along for the ride... But I don't stay out long. I just don't have the energy- and speed bumps hurt. So do potholes. So at least the upside to the drive down south is that we'll be on the highway- and it's pretty flat. Won't have to deal with bumps of that sort. The medications I'm still on, even though the major one being chucked off my "diet", make me just loopy enough I don't trust myself to be able to react to traffic situations. I miss driving- but there will be plenty of time to do more of it later. Besides... I need to get out. Dr said so. I'm just nervous, I don't want to re-injure myself. I've been doing what I've been told- so I should be alright. This ligament injury thing is going to take a long time to heal- and we're not sure if it will do it on its own, or if my body needs help. Those are options to discuss in the near future. I'm being as optimistic as I can- so long as I don't fall down hard and land on my butt, I shouldn't be re-injuring things in there. I'm thinking positive.

The past couple days I've spent organizing my clothing. Why? Well, all the ones I was planning to either yard sale or donate (if they didn't sell) because they were wayyyy too small for me when I got home... Now fit me. I've lost, according to my scale, 45 lbs since coming home in April. I don't quite feel "skinny", and I know the number on the scale would classify me as "grossly obese"- but I don't follow numbers. It matters to me how I feel about my body, not the digits on the scale or on the tags of my clothes. My favorite pair of jeans which make me a sparklebutt (because of the rhinestones) constantly fall off my hips- so sadly, even though they're my favorite pair, I think I need to be rid of them. Actually- on second thought, not gonna happen. Maybe someday I'll need a few items that are bigger than my current size. I've already determined that I'm meant to be a curvy girl with some extra weight here and there. I'm not going to be petite like ballerinas- and thankfully so, because I kinda like having boobs and a butt. I don't want to look like a pre-pubescent boy thanks. Sure- I can't exactly wear the slinky clothes like some skinny gals do... But I could get away with some pretty sexy looks that they can't pull off either. Well- theoretically. I'm a jeans, t-shirt and barefoot kind of girl these days. Sweatpants, tank tops, and sweatshirts too. But occasionally I'll slip on a sundress or something a little dressier- just to remind myself that I'm still me. I can still dress up for myself. Besides, what girl doesn't immediately feel better after getting primped for no reason? I'm one of 'em. I am, however, going to come up with an exercize program soon. Once my back is healed enough so that I can get to doing some sort of strength training, it's my plan to strengthen my core so that I don't have these problems ever again. I've decided it's either yoga or pilates- perhaps both. I don't plan on packing the weight I've already lost back on- and I'm still going to lose more. I'm not quite where I want to be- but getting there. I've already made significant progress- so anything after that is sheer bonus. I guess in a way, it's my revenge body. HAHAHA... Have you heard that term used yet? Well yeah... This beautiful thing is mine. Look but can't touch. I like it.

I rambled today. It was meant to be just a quick blurb... But meh. Whatever. I like to talk sometimes, I know I rant... But I think it's because I don't get out much. And I haven't really seen many of my friends lately. I've definitely been anti-social. Thank you for those who understand this really isn't me- in time, though, I'll be back. Rip-roaring and ready to go... I have many adventures I want to tackle, and this back of mine isn't going to give me any problems once I get better. I'm determined it won't. So when I start rambling- it's just my way of venting. I don't exactly like being a hermit, having these strange medicated thoughts running through my head, and forgetting things that are important and remembering those that aren't. It's odd. I'm holding on to the fact that this will not last forever. I'll be back to my old self soon- and when that happens... I want to go exploring. I'm not going to sit around any more. I hate being confined, caged like a bird. My physical disability necessitates I be quiet, stay off my feet, be careful. I've been doing it for 6 months already. Enough is enough... When I'm finally able... I'm spreading my wings and taking off.

Those of you that want to come along on the adventures are more than welcome. I'll extend invites. I plan on taking lots of weekend trips.


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