Days 30-36 Since I didn't publish them.

Day 30 - Hello Sunshine

Not really in the mood... And I've been severely lacking in the motivation department of life.

At least I have vibrant red hair.

Day 31 - Meet My Cane

Yes, that's right.
I know walk with a stupid, colorful cane. I have to. Otherwise, if my leg gives out- I fall down... And quite frankly, it HURTS.


In order to avoid falling, I stay off my feet most of the time. When I do have to be up, and I'm not just walking to the kitchen or bathroom... I have this tagalong with me.


It never ceases to amaze me how complete strangers have no shame about approaching me, say in the market when I have to fill my prescriptions, and they ask what's wrong with my leg. I explain it's my back. What the HELL?!? Don't people know it's RUDE TO ASK???


Obviously, if I'm walking with a cane- I need assistance because something is wrong. Unless you know me, don't freaking approach me. I'll beat you with it. And then fall down.

Day 32 - Life's a Beach

I had my toes in the sand, even if only for a short time.


My pants are too big- a product of the medications making me lose my appetite. Goodbye weight. I know it's not the right way to diet, but what the hell. It's gone, right?? That's what counts. My old clothes fit... Time to have a yard sale. Or eBay sale. Or something.


I do attest, there's nothing better than sitting at the ocean... But this was at a lake up the street. Warm sand under toes is the best feeling in the world- as long as it's warm, not scalding hot. A nice breeze is always welcome.

Day 33 - Stormy Day

I felt like crap today. At least I have the talent to be able to paint on a healthy face.


The bags under my eyes are peeking through- despite the layers of concealer I had used. Some days- I just can't win.


Spasm stays in my back. I get more of a kink. Pain down my leg. Medication- wish it worked better. But at least I don't feel quite so foggy, underwater, frigged up. It's just not... AS good as it's been today. In my truck, being driven around... Have to stop by and pick something up at the store... I can't have them seeing me as a zombie now, can I?


I don't look as bad as I hurt here. It was a nice and sunny day- fall is on the way. I can smell it in the air already.

Day 34 - See Me

Another day, I made it through.
The brushes I have, I'm thankful.
Colors to play with- I'm thankful.
Arrays of looks... But I wonder.


Do you really see me?
Do you see what I hide?
Where I keep things hidden?
They say the eyes are the gateways to the soul... And so much can be expressed through them.
Do you see it?
Can you?
Is anything really there...


My question is... Do I hide it well enough?

Day 35 - Frustration is Catching Up

Quickly.


I'm tired of chasing things to get them done. I'm exhausted, but I hardly sleep. I think it's the new medication. More of my clothes have to be sorted, and donated because they're much too big for me now.


This is one of the days I wish I could go back to being a kid... With half days at school.
Recess means playtime, playground.
There's snack time with apple juice and animal crackers.
Then my favorite- nap time.


Why do we have to grow up?! I wouldn't mind being a kid again... And I fought my parents so damn hard to let me grow up....


Now I realize, I should have just enjoyed being young while I had it. It's kind of frustrating having bills, obligations, responsibilities. And it sucks even worse that I'm medically unable to work.


With any luck- it won't be much longer until I'm fixed. *crosses fingers*

Day 36 - Dreaming of Fiji

And a hot tropical beach.
A frozen alcoholic drink in one hand, and the other being held by a knockout sexy guy.


I love how blue my eye is in this picture.
It reminds me of ocean waters I'd love to be frolicking in right now...

Day 27 - Return from Hiatus, Ladybug Ladybug

Day 27 - Return from Hiatus, Ladybug Ladybug, originally uploaded by The Snarky Princess.

She startled me in the grass today.

They're common up here, but I can't help think that ladybugs bring good luck. Of course- that doesn't count if your house is infested by a swarm of them.... But who can resist this little bug?

They're so pretty, dainty and small.

She climbed about my fingers, and I made a wish. Perhaps things will start looking up after all.

My apologies for the hiatus- I've had a lot to worry about this past week and trying to hold myself together has been tough. The sun comes up each morning though- and I start each day anew.

Looking forward to tomorrow.
And answers.

Day 25 - Cupcake

Day 25 - Cupcake, originally uploaded by The Snarky Princess.

My cupcake.
I got it for my birthday, from my sister.
When I look at it, I think of sugary goodness. I think my favorite kind would be molten cupcakes.

Chocolatey ooey gooey goodness topped with ganache frosting. No, that's not fattening or anything. :)

Hey, a girl can dream about calories- right?! That's not as bad as actually eating them....

I'm off to find a Hershey Bar.

Day 24 - Catch a Rainbow If You Can

Day 24 - Catch a Rainbow If You Can, originally uploaded by The Snarky Princess.

I was up on the Ledge today.
Careful walking got me up there... And it's where I sat with my sister for hours. I laid down on the rocks, let them warm me up. Granted- it wasn't the most comfortable I've been... But it was warm. The clothing we ended up removing in the heat and humidity did help with that minor problem.

And just when we were settling in to have girl talk.... We look up. A rainbow. It had been so overcast today that we were literally in the clouds.... The cloud cover was so low our hills and mountains were enveloped in the fluffy white "fog". But it wasn't fog, as people tend to believe. Most definitely clouds.

But... The rainbow was beautiful.
The sun came out, burned off some of the mists that were hanging low on the slopes. Broke through the clouds for a while.

And gave me the colors I plucked from the sky.

Day 21 - Jackson Falls

Day 21 - Jackson Falls, originally uploaded by The Snarky Princess.

3 weeks already.
A photo a day.
It's a little bit harder than I thought to do this- but it's not something I'm going to give up on.


Jackson Falls has some of the most beautiful pools and rock climbing. Some are slippery, others are not.


The water was beautiful, and I dipped my feet in as I sat.
Water so clear you can see pebbles in even the deep pools within the falls. Crystal clear.


When I'm better, I'll climb the steep part. But for now, I'll stick to the pools and soak my feet since there's little to no chance I'll fall.

Day 18- The Scarlet Girl

Day 18- The Scarlet Girl, originally uploaded by The Snarky Princess.

(I forgot to get this to my blog last night...)

Some days I just don't give a shit.
I put on makeup to hide behind, it's just a mask.
To try and make me feel better, because if visually I look healthy and ok- perhaps I'll start to feel that way.
To hide the pain.
To hide the hurt.
To hide the blue black half moons under my eyes that have taken residence.
Sleep, honest, real sleep- eludes me.
I sleep, but I'm not rested.
It's getting exhausting.
I use the makeup to hide.
To step behind the crumbling down that I've been dealing with.
I don't cry enough. I need to.

I'm so used to keeping everything bottled up, until it's overwhelming and a simple word unravels me... And I'm crying hysterically- tears that just come flowing out of my eyes without me really understanding why. Crumbling bits and pieces that are falling from my hands as I try to hold on- and failing to keep them from continuing to slip from my grasp...

The primer for the makeup is great though- I hardly get a smudge.

I don't give a shit about the makeup or what it hides.
I just want to feel normal again.
No pain.
No weakness.