I spent a little time outside today.
It's nice to get out every once in a while.
So before all the thunderstorms and rain blew through- there was about 40 minutes of sunshine. Hot rays. It was quite hot and humid today.
I went to the backyard.
I laid in the sun.
Evening out my burn, you might say. My shoulders are still scorched- peeling now. Lovely.
40 minutes feeling the sun's UV rays penetrating through my skin. Focusing on the way it kind of hurt, but didn't. Waiting for the storm at one point, smelling the rain in the air. The breezes that were passing through got cooler and cooler.
I focused on how laying in the sun made me feel.
Warm.
Then hot.
Baking away my anger.
Frustration.
Confusion.
But not the pain. Not the fogginess.
I know it will not last forever.
I'll play again.
I'll do all the fun things I want.
Without limitations.
The sun absorbed me.
I the sun.
The heat sinking through my bones.
I felt good.
Ok.
I let my hair down, in the breeze that was now markedly cooler. The sun hiding behind some light clouds.
Oh, but I know better than that.
Like I said, my back is a barometer. The clouds got fluffier and darker.
The breeze got almost chilly.
And the storms came in.
I gathered my things and went to the deck- put my bag and blanket inside. I sat on the decking wood.
Little drops at first, turning into large splats.
Hitting my shoulders, my nose.
My back, my legs.
The rain came harder- soaking my hair, my tank top, two piece swimsuit, sarong.
I listened to the rain.
It washed away the hot from the sun.
The anger. Confusion.
I felt cool.
The rain came down as little drops of clarity- although I couldn't grasp each one.
But it's ok.
Tomorrow comes.
And I'm sure will more sun, then rain. More time to think. Ponder.
Tomorrow is another day.
Perhaps I'll smile.