(I forgot to get this to my blog last night...)
Some days I just don't give a shit.
I put on makeup to hide behind, it's just a mask.
To try and make me feel better, because if visually I look healthy and ok- perhaps I'll start to feel that way.
To hide the pain.
To hide the hurt.
To hide the blue black half moons under my eyes that have taken residence.
Sleep, honest, real sleep- eludes me.
I sleep, but I'm not rested.
It's getting exhausting.
I use the makeup to hide.
To step behind the crumbling down that I've been dealing with.
I don't cry enough. I need to.
I'm so used to keeping everything bottled up, until it's overwhelming and a simple word unravels me... And I'm crying hysterically- tears that just come flowing out of my eyes without me really understanding why. Crumbling bits and pieces that are falling from my hands as I try to hold on- and failing to keep them from continuing to slip from my grasp...
The primer for the makeup is great though- I hardly get a smudge.
I don't give a shit about the makeup or what it hides.
I just want to feel normal again.
No pain.
No weakness.
I put on makeup to hide behind, it's just a mask.
To try and make me feel better, because if visually I look healthy and ok- perhaps I'll start to feel that way.
To hide the pain.
To hide the hurt.
To hide the blue black half moons under my eyes that have taken residence.
Sleep, honest, real sleep- eludes me.
I sleep, but I'm not rested.
It's getting exhausting.
I use the makeup to hide.
To step behind the crumbling down that I've been dealing with.
I don't cry enough. I need to.
I'm so used to keeping everything bottled up, until it's overwhelming and a simple word unravels me... And I'm crying hysterically- tears that just come flowing out of my eyes without me really understanding why. Crumbling bits and pieces that are falling from my hands as I try to hold on- and failing to keep them from continuing to slip from my grasp...
The primer for the makeup is great though- I hardly get a smudge.
I don't give a shit about the makeup or what it hides.
I just want to feel normal again.
No pain.
No weakness.
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