The Haunting Time Is Coming Near!

The Ghoullog - Mountaintop Haunt at Cranmore, North Conway, NH

I'm a Total Moron (cussing post)

An epically stupid thing happened a little while ago.
And be forewarned, I cuss a bit in this rant.

What you know: we now have 5 cats.
Mitts died two weeks ago. I miss him so much... But we'll have him back home soon and buried in his favorite spot in the garden.
Ratcat is somewhere hovering around, being paranoid.
Balls, well he's been taking off for days for some reason, and comes home when he feels like it. We're not entirely sure right now if he's inside, or out. Guess we'll find out when it's breakfast time.
Hobbes, was left in the kitchen on his leash for a while tonight. (I'll give an explanation in a moment)
Peeps, has been leashed but around me all day today.
Little Dude (Hobbes and Peeps son), has been hanging out. Luckily, he has no idea what a female cat in heat means, and he's not yet old enough to understand. Thankfully. Yes, he'll be fixed soon.

Problem: I didn't know Hobbes was in the kitchen.
Problem: Peeps is in heat.
Epically Stupid moment: I brought Peeps over to eat, not seeing Hobbes or his leash.

So I hear some sounds, mostly my cat growling and whimpering like she does when Ratcat decides to be a bitch and annoy her. It happened once, Mom and I didn't think anything of it. Second time... Mom turned around, I asked if Ratcat was back over there... And sonofabitch... I'm a fucking moron.

I brought Peeps to the kitchen, not knowing Hobbes was there. I didn't see him, his leash, no evidence he was hanging around. He was silent- and trust me when I say that's very odd. Anyone who's been here knows Hobbes is a loud cat. He loves to talk. Constantly. He's an attention whore, loves being heard, and when he talks he gets us to talk back or yell (in a silly way) at him. On the floor, Mom said he was on her. Great. She may have just been impregnated. I hobble over, scoop him up, and off to the bathroom I take him, and lift up his tail.... You know, to check. Nothing sticky, icky or wet there. I don't know if any "residue" would be left, but I decided I should check anyways. I've never seen a male cat having sex, for the record. My cat... Well, she's still the same bitchy growly in heat cat she's been for the past 2 days. I picked her up (with her protesting and clawing at me because she obviously didn't want to be held- she positively hates me when she's in heat) and checked out her hoo-hah. From what I can tell, nothing is there, no irritation... Hopefully no, uh, penetration. Nothing sticky, icky, wet, red, irritated, sore. *sighs*

I'm a fucking idiot.
I swear, I hate this. My medications make me so fucking stupid sometimes, I forget even the simplest of tasks. Like the fact that Hobbes was in the kitchen, and my cat was brought over and I didn't see, check, or even notice. I've had a bad day today. Not terrible, just bad. I cleaned. Compulsively. Upstairs. I fell asleep for a while when I laid down to take the pressure off my leg and back, and summarily fell asleep. Out like a light, down for the count... OUT. Since then, I've been feeling like a zombie- seriously, like my head ain't attached to my shoulders and I have no grey matter in between my ears.

And before you all ask- yes, all three cats will be getting fixed.
I just haven't had the money because I'm unemployed. I'm unemployed, well, because of my back. My back doesn't cooperate, so I have to be careful and take it easy. I have to take it easy, otherwise I risk making my back worse- which means more medications. Yet, I can't function without the ones I'm on- so I don't have a choice. It's either a lot of fucking pain I deal with- on a scale of 1-10, without meds I'm about a 15. With meds, I've been hovering about a 4-6 on days, 5-7 on bad ones. Sometimes worse. It SUCKS.

As a preemptive post, I'm saying right now that if my cat is impregnated (which I hope she isn't), are there any [more] of you, my friends, who will volunteer to adopt a kitten? I don't know how I'm going to go through that process again... Last time it was like giving up my own children, and they're friggen cats for pete's sake. I'm not giving them to strangers, and they will absolutely, never ever end up in a shelter. Help. Please.
Actually, hope that she's not knocked up for me. I do want her to have another litter of kits, but not yet. Not now. Shit, can't anything go right for me??

To top it off, I've been on the verge of tears all day- I don't know why, can't explain why... Not sure. And now they're threatening to spill over. On that note, I'm going to take a Val and go to sleep, if I can. I hope tomorrow is better, because I'm certainly not happy today. I tried. It didn't work. If she has kittens... I somehow will be moving out so I can take care of them. I don't care if I end up being the crazy old cat lady... I'm already medicated enough that I'm crazy. I'm off to bed, and to cry, because I think I need to.


Manda said...
June 5, 2011 at 3:22 AM

Aw. Shit happens. literally. Have you checked in your area to see if they have spay/neuter coupons? I know here they have a $40 coupon for those not on any kind of special aid and they have a $10 coupon for anyone on on aid or in serious financial trouble.

The other morning I went to make tea as usual but baked cookies the night before. So I had to cookies on one of our plastic cutting mats on the cookie sheet. I moved it to the back burner so it wouldn't get melted obviously and then turned the back burner on. I didn't even realize until the mat was half melted onto the cookie sheet. >.< So I turned the burner off got the cookie sheet cleaned up and then turned the damn back burner on AGAIN and didn't figure it out until I started wondering why the tea kettle wasn't warm. Derp.

Feel better. Cry and sleep if you need to. Sometimes that helps a lot. Except for when you wake up in the morning with swollen puffy painful eyes. XD

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