Restarting the Project

I started, but didn't complete the photographs I had planned on taking. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself, however in my defense... Feeling out of it, generally shitty and having to take and edit photos on top of dealing with the Holidays.... My mind goes elsewhere, as in hibernation, and I slacked off. I didn't post a photo a day like I was going to.

So here's the project for this year. Starting the first of February, I will post for this project again. I'm officially calling it the 52 week project... But if I can somehow juggle everything, and get a photo a day done... Than great... I will do such. The biggest motivators for me are putting me into something I know I have to get done. This will be one of those items.

I'm not sure where I'm going next with this disability battle... I have a feeling I may be taking action against both the disability company that has now twice denied me benefits, and the doctor who overdosed me on some seriously bad medication without a second thought. Indeed, this is the same doctor who claimed "Nothing is wrong" with me. Really sir, you're telling me the picture below tells you... There's nothing wrong with me?

Let me tell you something. Just because an injury doesn't present itself immediately after trauma, doesn't mean there isn't anything there or wrong. In some cases, it can take quite a long time for a problem to present itself... As it's done with me.

Just because you have a degree from some bullshit medical school, and the fact that you most likely kissed ass during your residency at Mass General doesn't mean you know what my body is feeling and telling me based upon one consultation. My biggest question is if you thought nothing was wrong, why was I put on a seizure controlling and pain management medication- on a dose that would cause damage to an adult?  Personally, asshole, I think it's because you get kickbacks from insurance and disability companies to give false information so the claims are denied.

Luckily, I believe in Karma. And trust me, what goes around will come around.

And you'll face what you've done to not only me, but how ever many other patients you've left dangling in the breeze.

As for the disability company which will remain nameless for the time being... I should have trusted the opinions and facts left in countless forums online absolutely bashing you for the careless, inconsiderate and cold way you treat us disabled people.

That's enough of a rant for now.

Oh, and on a funny side note. I was watching TV late one night last week, and my Ma and I happened to catch an episode of Judge Joe Brown. One of the cases involved a woman who was not only white trash, but was on full disability. She didn't appear to have anything wrong- there was no outward signs of an evident disability. When questioned what she had received full coverage for.... I hit the roof.

She's dyslexic.

I can see how it might be a reading, or speech, problem she may have. But her temper got the best of her, and she was slinging words around like the best of 'em. Luckily the Judge shut her up... But really?

I have a four inch thick file documenting problems I've had with my back for the past 5 years, and the additional mountain of forms my Doctor has been kind enough to fill out. It's been determined that the crash I was in back in March of 2007 hastened the genetic disposition I have to Arthritis and Degenerative Disc Disease in the lumbar area of my back. It's also been noted that I have Failed Back Syndrome- even though I have not had surgery, it can still be diagnosed- and it's the reason I'm in the state I am now.

You try walking around, and feeling your spine slip and slide out of place.

You feel what it's like to have one of the vertebrae "pop", and make an audible sound.

You take an hour in the morning to stretch before getting out of bed.

You deal with the medications, the paperwork, the bullshit red tape.

I'll tell you what though.... You picked the wrong person to make "go away".

I'm not going to do it. I haven't thus far, and I'm sure not going to start now.